Happy Mother's Day in heaven dear mom,

It's been 21 years since you left this earth for your eternal home with God and the family in heaven but I never stop missing you as much as that graduation day. You were with us on that Mother's Day but it was a hard day for you being sick and knowing you were going to leave us soon. We gathered at home with you and sat at the dining room table together to eat, watching you try to eat one piece of food but you couldn't swallow it and broke into tears. Heartbreak doesn't take a holiday and that day was truly a heartbreak day for you and all of us kids and extended family that were there that day. 

You sat helplessly in your chair by the big picture window, looking outside as tears flowed down your cheeks. You had faced many hard trials in life but leaving your kids and family behind was the biggest one and earth shattering. Everything we had done for years as tradition was changing and the unknown of that all disappearing was very unsettling. As I sat at your side crying with you, holding your hand and hugging you with assurance you weren't alone, you grasped my hand tightly to say thanks. All the years of learning I had being with you and watching you face the ups and downs of life were now a tangible crimson red lesson in my mind. Even though you couldn't speak well at this point, the lessons of mom etched in my heart were echoing throughout my being. "God loves you and so do I...forgive others when they hurt you as they may have had a hard life...be good to others in their pain..pray for them and always follow the golden rule. 💔🖤

It was a mountain too high for me to climb at that point emotionally and I just clung to your side from that day May 20, 2003 to the day you peacefully left before the break of dawn on May 25, 2003. You woke from the coma the night before to whisper with eyes fixed upward, to tell of your glorious visit to heaven, the party there, the kind of music you liked, the people dancing, how beautiful it is and mustered great strength to say "you kids need to come there but not too soon!" I reluctantly whispered in your ear late at night  to let go and fly home to Jesus. Your two children in heaven that you never got to meet, were also waiting for you, dad and God. That we would be OK and I would be sure to let the others know about the party and to make sure they get their ticket there,  which is Jesus. You nodded and closed your eyes only to open them again in heaven at 5 am with the birds on earth singing outside in the dark and supernatural heavenly smells in her living room that only a couple family members could smell. God surely left his mark with us as His heavenly angels ushered you home. 

It's been a turbulent road on earth with many turns, mountains and joy but I've held close to my heart all that you showed and told me about love and forgiveness. I have the great and blessed hope of being with you again and that sustains me in every dark night of my life! You loved Jesus and clung tight to Him and God during your life and I so appreciate that you gave me that example. I'm so glad you're my mother forever! I wouldn't want any other mom, you are my mom and I love you so much! 

I will celebrate this mother's day with worship to God and Jesus, my first love and complete strength in every step of life. I will give thanks for the gift of my husband, bless him and the gifts of children God gave me, pray for them and continue to grow in His grace to be a wife and a nurturing mom to my children till I leave this earth. I can only hope that my legacy I leave will be love, just as yours is. Enjoy  the party dear mother and give everyone there my love! I miss you all so very much! xxxxxxxx